The Glory of Grace in the Smallness of Man

William Cowper was born into a Christian family in England in the early 1700s. He was upper middle-class and well-educated, but from an early age, he suffered severe bouts of depression and anxiety. Some historians believe he was physically and sexually abused by a bully at boarding school. Although he experienced literary success as a popular poet, every other area of his life was a disaster. He had an estranged relationship with his father, several failed romances, and he tried to commit suicide repeatedly. In his thirties, Cowper was admitted to an insane asylum. No one knew what to do with him. But God's hand was guiding Cowper through this dark time.

In the asylum, William met a Christian doctor who told him about Jesus. He received Christ, and experienced the powerful transformation of regenerative faith. He was released from the asylum and was befriended by a Christian family, who welcomed him into their home and introduced him to a man who would become one of his dearest and most faithful friends, John Newton.

Later, William penned these words as he reflected on his salvation:

There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Emmanuel's veins,
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Loose all their guilty stains.

E'er since by faith, I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.

(From "Praise for the Fountain Opened")

Though truly changed by Jesus and part of a loving community, Cowper still fought battles with his old demons. He went through periods of excruciating doubt concerning his salvation. At one point, he felt that he could no longer live and resolved again to commit suicide. He called a cab and ordered the driver to take him to the Thames River, intending to jump off the London Bridge. As the driver started toward the river, a thick fog descended and he got lost. He drove around for a while, attempting to get his bearings, but never did. Eventually, he dropped Cowper off, and to Cowper's surprise, he had been dropped off at his own doorstep. Again, God's sovereign hand held out life and grace to this man. Later, he wrote these words:

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

(From "God Works in a Mysterious Way")

Cowper never became what you might call a well-balanced Christian. Although there were periods of his life when he could think clearly and act rationally, his struggles with anxiety and depression were lifelong. Despite his flaws, faithlessness, and even insanity, God has used William Cowper to encourage the saints for hundreds of years.

Isn't it wonderful that even our worst parts display God's steadfast love, his never-ending kindness to his own? May the glory of God's grace be revealed in my smallness, too.