A while back, one of my favorite bloggers, CJ Mahaney, posted excerpts from a chapter on modesty that will appear in his new book, Worldliness. CJ's insights have been very helpful, and they have reminded me of other things I've read on this subject, as well as conversations I've had with other people. Not that I've arrived, by any means, but I want to pass on what I've learned and to hear your thoughts.
So, this is the first half of a two-part post. I plan to post the second half next week after I get back from Oneblaze Camp in St. Louis. Hopefully, I'll have internet access at camp and I'll be able to post updates on all the amazing things that happen while I'm there! But for now, here are the first two lessons on my list...
1. Modest does not mean unattractive.
I used to think modest meant frumpy. This disappointed me because I hate denim jumpers, and I put the turtle in turtle neck (those things swallow me whole). However, I have learned that the goal of modesty is not to make ourselves totally unappealing to the opposite sex; the goal is to honor God with our appearance. Oddly enough, I learned this from 1 Corinthians 11:3-5 and 13-15, the infamous head-covering passage:
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head—it is just as though her head were shaved....Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering."
So....a veil for every girl and a crew cut for every guy, right? I don't think so. Paul is telling the Corinthians (and us) that there is a created order to things and it can be expressed through the way we dress. Just as Christ is submitted to the Godhead, so are men submitted to Christ, and women are submitted to men. Paul sees the veiling of women as an outward expression of this created order.
A woman's veil and her long hair symbolized the authority she was under. Veils are light, not heavy; they provide protection; they can be clearly seen by others. Similarly, the leadership of men in is not a heavy burden, it is for our protection, and it is visible in daily life. In Paul's culture, a woman who did not wear a veil was letting everyone know she did not belong to any man--she was a prostitute. A woman who did wear a veil was letting everyone know that she belonged to someone, and that she was under his protection and authority.
Most girls had fathers who censored their dress while they were at home. ("You're not leaving the house dressed like that!") Why did our fathers bother to do that? Probably for two reasons: they wanted to protect us from guys with bad ideas and they were concerned for the reputation of their families. Although I am no longer living at home, I have a heavenly Father who wants to protect me and I have a family, the church, whose reputation I do not want to compromise with my dress. I belong to the Lord, and I am under his protection and authority. I want my appearance to express my complete trust in Him, his design, and his boundaries.
2. Modesty is not exclusively a women’s issue.
Because I used to think the goal of modesty was to keep guys from lusting, I also thought modesty was something only girls had to consider. If, however, modesty is about honoring God with our appearance, it's something men AND women can demonstrate. In the passage from 1 Corinthians 11, Paul says that it is shameful for a man to wear a head covering or to have long hair. This is because, as stated above, a veil symbolized the covering of authority and protection that God has put in place for women. For a man to wear a veil would be for him to say he doesn't want to be a covering--he wants some protection of his own. He wants to put some distance between himself and his responsibilities. It was a way for him to hide, and it was this attitude, demonstrated by dress, that Paul confronted.
Are these instructions still relevant today? I don't know any guys who struggle with the uncontrollable desire to put on a veil, so surely we can skip over this passage, right? Maybe not. While the manifestation of the attitude Paul confronted has changed, I think the attitude itself is still present. Many authors and bloggers have commented on a cultural trend that's been dubbed adult-escence. It's a tendency that has been observed mainly in men (sorry, guys) to avoid adulthood and put off things like getting a job, getting married, and getting a car with hub caps. Paul observed a similar tendency in the Corinthian men, although it took a different form, and his instructions to them are still relevant today. He told them their appearance should express an acceptance, rather than a rejection, of their God-given role. Men can dress in a way that communicates that they are not the kind of guys to hide from manly, mature responsibilities and are willing to be a form of covering and protection for others.
As for what male modesty looks like on any given day, I confess, I'm not really sure. I do think that guys who walk around with their underwear hanging out are probably not convincing anyone that they have accepted their God-given roles and responsibilities. Of course, I don't know their hearts and you can't judge a book by its cover. The thing is, why make it more difficult for people to take you seriously? Paul tells Timothy not to let anyone look down on him for being young. With the way they present themselves, some guys are practically begging people to look down on them for being young.
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